Struggled today emotionally, I felt down and deprived even though I wasn’t hungry. It possibly was hormonal as I’d forgotten that I was due on – not a good week to pick!
I’ve been having strange dreams. The dominant emotion is guilt and in the dreams I’m either doing something or have done something that i feel guilty about and I wake feeling terrible. In my waking life the dominant emotion is feeling deprived. I realise I haven’t got my head around the fact that 1 week isn’t enough to change for. I need to implement these changes for life and I’m stamping my feet in resistance. Ahh that’s interesting. Am I resisting the results as well as the process. Perhaps that’s why I’m not getting the results I want. Ha Ha! Was very gassy this evening, which often happens on the first day of the time of the month. I did a water enema to try to clear it out which helped a bit. I have to confess to cheating. Am kicking myself as I had some crisps and cake! I wasn’t hungry though which is what was so annoying. I’m not going to give up, I’m just going to put it behind me and carry on. It’s really important to me that my skin looks better by the time my mum comes next weekend. Writing this I realise that I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect and it’s as if I don’t feel accepted if I’m not perfect. This has held me back a lot in my life. I need to find a way to address it.
